Juggernauts - Enter Shikari, Common Dread
I have come to the conclusion, after much heart-rending deliberation and wringing of hands, that I need a personal shopper. It is time to face facts: I am simply not mentally or emotionally equipped for clothes shopping.
This is, of course, not news. My loathing of shopping malls and sphincter-faced shop assistants has been well documented. And the worst – the absolute ninth circle of shopping hell, even worse than buying jeans or strapless party frocks, is Bra Shopping.
Posted by H on June 22nd, 2009 | Filed under HFactor | 5 Comments »Stuck With Each Other - Shontelle ft. Akon
I have a brilliant idea that I think will go some way to reducing the UK divorce rate. It’s a one week course spent in a very enclosed space, designed to help you get to the bottom of what your loved one is REALLY like, and introducing you to all their weird habits, quirks and eccentricities. If, by the end of the week, you can still look them in the eye without finding them physically repellent, you’re allowed to get married and enjoy every one of their personal foibles for as long as you both shall live. I now pronounce you, amen etc.
Posted by H on June 16th, 2009 | Filed under HFactor | 2 Comments »Release Me - Agnes, Dance Love Pop
It happens every year, without fail, but this year it has come worryingly early. Usually it starts around mid-July, a furtive fix when I find myself inadvertently at a loose end of an evening, followed up with another guilty peek, then another. I’ll force myself to go cold turkey for a week, twitching wildly but desperate not to fall into the grip of its clutches again, knowing that if I do it will be another summer wasted. In the end I have no choice but to give in, because I’ve been an addict for ten years and resistance is clearly futile.
Posted by H on June 15th, 2009 | Filed under HFactor | 2 Comments »Please don’t leave me – Pink, Funhouse
I’ve been conspicuously absent for over a month this time, my longest blog-free period since I started these inane ramblings over three years ago. I feel I should explain, if you’re still out there. I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t – in your shoes I’d probably bugger off to read the musings of people who actually bother. I’d be sad about it, though. It’s not like I don’t have anything to write about, I’ve got loads, I just need to apply myself to the task at hand. Bit rubbish, really.
The bottom line is I’ve been busy, and a bit stressed and having various minor mentals, and on holiday, and avoiding the internet after managing to cause a minor international incident over Eurovision. Which still smarts a bit, if I’m honest.
Posted by H on June 5th, 2009 | Filed under HFactor | 3 Comments »Ride It – Jay Sean, My Own Way
I am officially a bicycle commuter. I am a one-woman planet-saving machine, cycling the 17 miles to work each day, and then 17 miles back again, trailing calories in my wake like lard-petals on the wind.
But WHY? I hear you cry. What in the name of spandex leggings would inspire you, of all people, to spend 2.5 hours a day on a bike?
Well, I’m so glad you asked.
Posted by H on April 29th, 2009 | Filed under HFactor | 6 Comments »I’ll Fly Away - Kanye West, The College Dropout
Sorry things have been a bit quiet on the blog front, but I have been skiing again. Just reading that makes me want to punch myself in the face, but let me explain. I had to book a holiday, see, because I qualified for a freebie at work last year. And it could only be through a certain holiday company, and Other Half and I couldn’t agree on a perfect romantic beach hideaway option (he feared early onset of catatonic beach boredom), so we decided to go skiing again.
I have come to the conclusion that I will never be a skier of any real aptitude. In the same way that I can shimmy out onto a dancefloor oozing confidence by the truckload and still manage to look like I’ve put my legs and arms on backwards, I am an uncoordinated, deeply rubbish skier.
Posted by H on April 11th, 2009 | Filed under HFactor | 6 Comments »Ride Wit Me – Nelly, Country Grammar
So I reckon it must be time for an update on training for my triathlon, which is taking place at the end of May, i.e. not very far away at all. The swimming is the bit I’m already pretty OK at, and we’ll get to the cycling in a minute. The running, however, has come to a grinding halt, mainly because I have a stress fracture in my right knee, thus cannot do any impact sport for the next six weeks, at which point I’ll have another MRI scan to find out if I can ever run again. Big boos to my crappy knees.
Posted by H on March 22nd, 2009 | Filed under HFactor | 2 Comments »Whatcha Think About That - Pussycat Dolls, Doll Domination
Today is my three year bloggiversary - three years to the very day since I first set up my little corner of t’internet and wrote some rambling old toot for an audience of precisely no people. Much has changed in my world since then – I’ve ditched Blogger for Wordpress and gone all shiny and purple, had two new jobs, bought a dog and acquired a garden …oh OK, if I’m honest, very little of significance has changed in my world since then, although I’m working on brokering world peace between blogging about reality TV and feeding my chickens. It’s early days, to be honest.
Posted by H on March 16th, 2009 | Filed under HFactor | 4 Comments »Revelry – Kings of Leon, Only By The Night
So, a bit about my trip to Edinburgh, which was of course completely fabulous. I entirely fell in love with the city, and would happily move there tomorrow, particularly if all the shop assistants are as nice as the ones in Jenners. GBF proved yet again that he is the perfect mini-break partner, being equally happy carousing around cocktail bars as he is eating takeaway pizza in bed whilst watching Top Gun. Can you believe he’d never seen it? Alas we came in too late for the volleyball scene, which is quite possibly the most homoerotic bit of film ever made.
Posted by H on March 1st, 2009 | Filed under HFactor | 3 Comments »You Found Me - The Fray
In the immortal words of Abba (quoting Martin Luther King, probably – he did like a sing-song), I have a dream. You see, ever since I was an irritatingly precocious little pigtailed girl bashing out stories about talking space-rabbits on my mum’s manual typewriter, I have dreamed of the day when I might wander into a bookstore and see MY book on the shelf, looking all shiny and new and special. Actually, in my dream there’s just the one remaining copy that several people are fighting over in a fairly violent manner, because all the others have sold out in the midnight launch frenzy. You know how it goes.
Posted by H on February 26th, 2009 | Filed under HFactor | 4 Comments »